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You would go where in time?

Tris Cotterill | 17:32 UK time, Friday, 5 November 2010

It's the end of week three on Good News and everyone is now hardcore into planning the next show. Thanks for the stories you have been sending in (we have some great ones for next week already). Remember, if you send something in and we like it you could even get your name in the credits like @JAMMorgan, Sarah and @baabaa89. This is their moment of glory...

Remember earlier this week when Russ asked about what would you do if you could go back in time? Well we had tons of suggestions (some which cannot be repeated!), this is Russ responding to some of the best.

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AND FINALLY - Remember to watch Good News EXTRA this Saturday night at 9:30 with stand-up guest Elis James (I watched it being recorded and it is really good). If you want to know more about him you can go to his .

AND AND FINALLY - If you are playing with sparklers tonight remember to wear gloves (and you said we never gave you health and safety advice).

Comments

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  • Comment number 1.

    Great show last night Russell..!
    Saw this in the news the other day, and thought it would might be good enough for the show. May have heard bout it already, but here is the link anyway..!!!



    about a couple who renewed thier wedding vowes in the maldives and didnt know that the people giving the blessing were actually insulting the couple in a foreign language.

    Thanks,
    Poppy x

  • Comment number 2.

    If I could go back in time I'd go back to when I was a young lad and let myself know I have 4 mental health issues (Epilepsy, Aspergers, ADHD & Hyperkinectic conduct disorder) so I could try and control them when I was younger like I can now

    PS: @Russel, thanx to you and your family for the charity work you did for epileptics a while back :)

    PS-2: and I'd stop myself from ever going gym since my epilepsy does all the work for me :P

  • Comment number 3.

    hi

    this may not have a gigantic amount of comical value but if your having a go at the NHS



    and of course, Political Correctness gone mad

  • Comment number 4.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 5.

    this is pretty disgusting to be honest!

  • Comment number 6.

    have you seen the story about the supposed 'sean connery in a thong' story? the pic looks like a midget!

  • Comment number 7.

    Also ... Last nights show was AMAZING as always! thought the mouse and the god sketch was absolutely FAB! am soo excited to come see you in february next year :) can't wait ... my friends are getting annoyed at me all rea cos am counting down.ooops they're gonna be annoyed dy for quite a while, well 3 months and 19 days anyway. uh oh.

  • Comment number 8.

    OMW Russell i love you not in a stalker way but i have a comedy list and you and lee evans are right at the top




    LOVE unknown!!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Comment number 9.

    oh oh oh, unless you've already done it, i've missed some of this series, you totally need to show the bed intruder song. Basically someone broke itno someones house over in america and tried to rape them, but the news report with this girl brother is hilarious (obviously i'm not condoning the whole rape thing - just watch the guy and you'll understand)

    The orginal interview is here:


    Then these guys who autotune the new made this remix:



  • Comment number 10.

    Alright russ
    i was in a nightclub in birmingham the other day and i couldnt believe who was on the ones and twos that night



    i would not like to live there if thats how they are going on



    these have to be some of the most craziest dogs ever



    cutest baby puppy gizmo ever haha



    hope you like these videos i got loads more lovin the show 2 but how do i buy tickets me n my friends are desperado to come c it live

  • Comment number 11.

    Alright russ
    i was in a nightclub in birmingham the other day and i couldnt believe who was on the ones and twos that night



    i would not like to live there if thats how they are going on

    [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]these have to be some of the most craziest dogs ever



    cutest baby puppy gizmo ever haha



    hope you like these videos i got loads more lovin the show 2 but how do i buy tickets me n my friends are desperado to come c it live

  • Comment number 12.

    Loving the show Russell...keep up the good work man

    Local Teenagers and Young adults I work with who suffer abuse and bullying about their sexuality have expressed to me how much the Joel Burns speech on YouTube has helped them come to terms and stand up against homophobic bullying which is an unseen problem in our schools, colleges, universities and workplaces

    It would be amazing for you to use this video as a piece of good news, in the hope that it might just help any of your viewers who are suffering behind closed doors on a day to day basis

    Peace out dude and thank you!

  • Comment number 13.

    This is from the 29th October but still pretty strange...

    "Judge Rules 4-Year-Old Can Be Sued In Elderly Woman's Death"

  • Comment number 14.

    another fantastic show. I went onto yahoo and seen this article on an aslysum seeker bording a flight in hong kong to canada

  • Comment number 15.



    wonder if someone lit a match after visiting the toilet?

  • Comment number 16.

    [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]
    im sure there is a story in this. show is fantastic, i need ice on my (face) ;-) cheeks every week to bring down the swelling from laughing so much

  • Comment number 17.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 18.

    Hi Russel

    My husband and I saw this on facebook and thought it would make a good feel good story for the end. Titled 'lovely sad true story' it is a tale of a man who asks his aged father with heart disease to run marathons with him. he does so and on there success he asks his father to do the 'iron man' with him. His father has a stroke but that does not stop the son from helping the father to complete the iron man with dignity and style. Follow this link to see exactly what I mean and have your tissues ready...

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehpkfive2no

    or



    (appologies, you may have to copy and paste the link as I can't create a hyper link)

    Peter and Becki Ensell

  • Comment number 19.

    Heya russel, love the show, link below incase you haven't already seen it!



    It's well sweet, might even be good enough for your show!
    Thank gem xxxxxx

  • Comment number 20.

    That's a tricky one...

    Go back to when the show first started, and rename it Saxton Hale's Good News.
    News:
    (I really want this to happen)

    /news/uk-england-london-11699349 ~ A police officer gets suspended for putting song titles in his court testimony. I bet he was a Smooth Criminal (See what I did there?)


  • Comment number 21.

    JUST THOUGHT THIS WAS A FUNNY VIDEO, MADE ME LAUGH, AND WOULD BE GOOD IN THE SHOW, HERE'S THE LINK...

  • Comment number 22.

    Great show, but blooming hell you look tired in that clip, get some sleep!!

  • Comment number 23.

    Oh, remember those funny signs Americans were protesting about, here's some more!

  • Comment number 24.

    Hello,
    Just a piece of news from across the water here in Ireland, amidst a recession and severe cut backs the Irish Government has announced that they will be giving out free cheese. Yes cheese, the solution to all lives problems.
    Here's a link to an Irish newspaper covering the story;



    厂濒谩苍
    脡迟补铆苍.

  • Comment number 25.

    HI Russell,

    I know on your last show you wanted to know why other older celebs didn't make their own perfume, you obviously didn't see this wonderful creation by Sir Cliff Richard...



    Devil Woman perfume (mmm musky)... on the side of the box it states...

    "One of the most sultry and moody of all my hits, was released way back in 1976. Today, what more apt a description for our new heady and alluring evening fragrance, so evocative of the song鈥檚 sentiment. The fruity and musky ingredients of 鈥淒evil Woman鈥 come from exotic and distant lands 鈥 places where I may well have performed the song on some far-away tour."

    My friend bought it for her mother and it really should come with a warning to not spray around animals or small children.


    Thanks for making me giggle each week :)

    Lins

  • Comment number 26.

    Just have to say I LOVE the show, best show of the week please do series after series, never fails to bring a smile Thank you! Xx

  • Comment number 27.

    Hi Russell

    Posting really about your good news bit at the end of the show...

    I myself do some work for various charities... mainly Cancer Research UK due to my Grandad being diagnosed with it last year, and dying of it this year. I have done a charity football tournament in memory of my Grandad, which is held on the nearest sunday to his birthday - called The Stanley Heames Cup... just thought i would let you know.

    [Personal details removed by Moderator]

  • Comment number 28.

    Saw this in the paper today and thought how epically funny although very upseting for all involved lol :P



    Great show btw.

    Rock on! xx

  • Comment number 29.

    Haay russ
    Too bad ma other vid got taken off but i have another one
    Its a dancing baby doing the Samba in Brazil

  • Comment number 30.

    This is a really touching story that happened earlier this year about a lonely war veteran who advertised for people to attend his 90th birthday. He posted up fliers, and it got picked up by the internet board, 4chan.

    4chan is a board where people post images and discuss things anonymously. It's not child-friendly, but this is a nice thing they did.

    An article.


    Some pictures.

  • Comment number 31.



    Hilarious and funny

  • Comment number 32.

    Hiya Russ I was just wondering-How is your dog coping with the fireworks?x

  • Comment number 33.

    Great show Russell, top job to you and the crew

    I have the tv guide app on the iPad and had a lol moment with the lovely pic they had of you advertising the show.



    Curtains? ........ Really LOL

    Peace. ;)

  • Comment number 34.

    Hi! I loved the show as per usual and I came across these videos online and thought you might enjoy them :D

    The first one is about a woman who is the oldest professional free style parachute jumper at the age of 77!

    That one is about a young Asian guy who disguised himself as a elderly man on a plane.

    And that one is about a criminal who had been on the run for years and finally got caught after revealing his location on Facebook! one of the dumbest criminals ever I think! :D

  • Comment number 35.

    GREAT SHOW RUSSELL LIKED THE OMG MOUSE :)

  • Comment number 36.

    Absolutely love the show, wish I could see it live but alas life is not so fair. Hope you continue to send me into fits of laughter for many years to come. o7 (The man to the left is saluting you by the way)

    Not really mention worthy but a reporter threw his mic into the polar bear enclosure and he doesn't seem to be living it down anytime soon with his colleagues.


    The "Cat bin lady" of Belgian football.


    Some kid got suspended for bringing a horse to school, the school compared it to bringing a gun to school.


    Awesome kangaroo, living the dream.

  • Comment number 37.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 38.

  • Comment number 39.

    The nicest couple in the world!



    Enjoy

    Dave

  • Comment number 40.

    Countdown' filming 'stopped by swear word

    Filming on a recent edition of Countdown reportedly had to be stopped after a contestant discovered a swear word.

    When presented with the letters D, T, C, E, I, A, S, H and F, 18-year-old contestant Jack Hurst declared that he had found an eight-letter word.

    To the amusement of the audience, Cambridge University student Hurst then revealed that word to be "s**tface".

    According to The Sun, Dictionary Corner adjudicator Susie Dent confirmed that the word was a legitimate term for a "rude or obnoxious person", but Channel 4 bosses stepped in and restarted the round, deeming the word to be "not appropriate".

    A source said: "The bizarre thing was he had a spare D - spelling a concept most students are more than familiar with."

    Hurst recently broke the record for the total number of points accumulated over eight matches.

    It is not the first time that the weekday teatime quiz, hosted by Jeff Stelling and Rachel Riley, has produced an interesting array of letters.

    Brilliant!

  • Comment number 41.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 42.



    5 year old kids mother defends his sexuality after kid wants to dress as daphine out of scooby doo for halloween. A mothers love



    nice story

  • Comment number 43.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 44.

    This was a story from the Daily Record the day 6-10-10

    Gentlemen prefer ponds

    Birdwatchers thought they'd gone quackers when they spotted a duck-with a Marylin Monroe hairdo.
    The pond bombshell, in California, cut quite a sight with its head fethers perfectly preened in a bouffant.


    Sorry but the picture will not load onto this


  • Comment number 45.

    hey russel, your rocking the shows your soo funny you crease me up everytime, well anyways i came across something weird but also funny, about a guy who thinks his dog can talk and shames himself in public lol,i have a great feeling you'll come up with something awsome for this as always hopefully you can use it in one of your shows. the link at the bottom, P.S i tried linkin it to make it easier but couldnt find the click button somehow lol, by the way i hope you like it, Sandy =]


  • Comment number 46.

    Here is another funny one.

  • Comment number 47.

    Here is a brill one of me :)



  • Comment number 48.

    hey russell i would go back to when i was 13 and i would go to my acting audition

  • Comment number 49.

    or this one funny


  • Comment number 50.

    a binge drinking baby stole my cat!

  • Comment number 51.

    Hihi!
    Bex: Have you seen the backin' up song-it's even better! If not watch it here:

    the original is at the end of the video(you may have to copy+paste the link)
    Anyone who cares: I always seem to be too late for these things,so if I could travel back in time, then I would go back and make a bbc account earlier, so I can comment on this when people actually did care. Either that, or go back to when the worlds largest marshmallow was made, then nick it. Yeah, probably the marshmallow.

  • Comment number 52.

    I found this video because of RayWilliamJohnson and it just made me laugh, hard.

  • Comment number 53.

    I second the Joel Burns video! On The Ellen Show (, he talked about how many teenagers from all over the world sent him a message thanking him and saying how his video helped him. Or you could talk about any of the It Gets Better project in general.

    But Joel Burns' is really the best, in my opinion.

  • Comment number 54.

    Check out this story about "Bertie the Bat" and his kidnappers!

  • Comment number 55.

    A friend sent me this thought you might like it:
    According to recent reports, children in India have been demanding to have owls as pets since they are so enamored with the Harry Potter series.

    and as your writing jokes about StarWars this might make you laugh

    P.S. love the show to pieces will see you live on the 16th cant wait :D and loving the fireworks in bath clip
    Emz xx

  • Comment number 56.

    We have all heard of the fainting goats in America, where when startled they have a full body spasm, go stiff, and fall over. But there is a new version, the FAINTING KITTENS. Watch the video and you will hate yourself, i felt so wrong to laugh at them but damn its to funny not to laugh!



    But wait it gets better, some genius has decided to put lasers into the original video (set to stun, not kill, do not worry) and i just couldnt stop laughing. My poor girlfriend didnt find it as funny as I did but I hope you will enjoy it as much as me.
    Enjoy

  • Comment number 57.

    alright russell

    heres a story about Barack Obama you need to look at



  • Comment number 58.

  • Comment number 59.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 60.

    Hey, I think your hilarious. I have an idea for you good news part.
    I think you should mention about how mars products fund animal testing so that people are aware. :) I know its not a happy topic. But I just think it should be known. Keep being awsome! :D

  • Comment number 61.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 62.

    Saw this in the local paper and thought you might find it interesting

  • Comment number 63.

    British Gas offered dead woman swimming lessons

  • Comment number 64.

    multi tasking EXTREME! Man driving while reading a book, on a kindle, and his phone.

  • Comment number 65.

    Thought you might want to look at this story.



    Celtic get a record breaking 9 goals which is rather impressive and the guardian's picture to sum up the result is one where Thomas Rogne looks like he has a tongue which is like trying to squeeze a car into a suitcase.

  • Comment number 66.



    A guy called Jimmy McMillan running for New York Governor, with the rent is too damn high party :L

  • Comment number 67.

    For your 'It's not all doom and gloom' section;
    A girl, 16, Manchester, shaves off all her hair in order to raise money for Cancer Research UK. She raised just under 拢3000 in under two weeks! www.facebook.com/pages/Beths-charity-head-shave/154447417923678

  • Comment number 68.

    this gives a whole new meaning to "train ride"!!!

    also, you've said in the past that you'd love to see a drunk hedgehog...well there are no hedgehogs in this video but it's still pretty funny


  • Comment number 69.

    I found a link of a surprised cat on you-tube

    also a very angry cat

    hope these are useful to you
    thanks

  • Comment number 70.

    a story about a 3 year old girl crying over Justin Beiber which comes to a very happy ending

  • Comment number 71.

    The queen is to launch her very own Facebook page..!!

    /news/uk-11704599

    Wonder if she has twitter..??!!

    Poppy x

  • Comment number 72.

    Hi
    Russell i think you're Amazing!!!
    I saw a story about Barack and Michelle Obama dancing with some Indian kids. I thought i might be a good feature :)
    It was on newsround on sunday
    Thanks, Georgette x

  • Comment number 73.

    this seemed to be some good news.
    a musical guy getting people to recycle

  • Comment number 74.

    Loving the new series Russell!

    On Friday 5th November, on Look East at 10.25 (When the usual newsreaders were on strike) the newsreader said something along the lines of: police believe the man killed himself before killing another lady.

    Unfortunately you can't view it on iplayer /programmes/b00vn74x

  • Comment number 75.

    Hey there :) Thought this might possibly amuse you - I could be wrong, but it made me laugh, in a sick and twisted way -



    I found it amusing...then again, I'm often told I have a very warped sense of humour...

  • Comment number 76.

    loved the show this week i found this story, i had a laugh at it thought u might like it 2

  • Comment number 77.

    heres another story u might like

  • Comment number 78.

    This might be a good one from the Liverpool v Chelsea game. When Sturridge (76 minutes) and Shelvey (84 minutes) are being subed-on, theres a guy in the crowd behind them holding a sign saying 'fresh juicy mangoes 拢5 each'. Bit random considering where he was.

  • Comment number 79.

    Not really a story but Panda has gotta have a place on the show :D

  • Comment number 80.

    Russell,

    On Friday, a Real Radio Scotland DJ, Robin Galloway was sacked from his position on the Real Radio Breakfast Show following a prank that went far too far. To provide you with some background in case you're unfamiliar with the show, Robin Galloway was imfamous on Real Radio for his series of Wind-Up phone calls, which were a popular fixture of his show.

    The Thursday before last (28/10/10), he dared his Producer to strip naked and run past whilst Ed Miliband was being interviewed by a journalist. Ed Miliband never saw, but apparently one of his aides did, and the station took the initiative to sack both Galloway and his Producer on Friday.



  • Comment number 81.

    Russell funny episode but i have noticed some of the clips from the internet are also on the youtube channel RayWilliamJohnson im not saying you copying him you probably never seen it, has clips like the apparently time traveling woman and the creepy guy who smiles at the screen check it out

  • Comment number 82.

    We found this the other day and it made us laugh, especially the end.
    Family found theft stealing caravan on google street view
    they brought a second caravan which hit by joyriders
    they have now invested in a tent :)
    Thought you'd like it :)



    From Kelly Bull and Lucie Kemp

  • Comment number 83.

    This is a great story about communities coming together and such.

    Video made by the Gwent Theatre:

    "In 2010 Gwent Theatre were told that their funding was to be cut by the Arts Council of Wales. Gwent Theatre do tremendously valuable work in the local community, from teaching children how to express themselves through theatre to touring local schools giving drama workshops to young people who wouldn't otherwise have the chance."

  • Comment number 84.

    Russell, I saw this on the local news website today; it's a walking stick attachment for pervy OAPs!



    Makes me wonder what sort of place I've moved to!

  • Comment number 85.

    The Queen joins facebook



    x

  • Comment number 86.

    My friend Sam entered a competition to be the 'new face' of a clothes company. Doesn't sound funny until you see the pictures of all the entrants, then him, dressed as a reindeer.

    [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

    Standing up for those of us not fortunate enough to be blessed with good looks, and it's hilarious to see him beat some of them. (Check out the guys' top 30 list - you know he's making fun of them for the right reasons)

    We managed to get him enough votes to climb 420 places and now he's contending to be on the front page! Please give him a shout on your show it would be so funny (especially for me and my friends who all love the show).

    Keep up the good work,

    Michael

  • Comment number 87.

    Hey Russ, love the show and think this story may be right up your street.

    /news/world-europe-jersey-11710712

    ever wondered why your fruit and veg bill is so high, perhaps breasts might be the answer??

    :O)

  • Comment number 88.

    OK, loving the show...
    I notice you have a technology segment in your show: Stumbled on this, robots have now evolved to the point where they can actually taste stuff and using this new technology they've had some interesting thoughts about humans...


  • Comment number 89.

    could the creepy guy from the videos you've shown be royalty?

  • Comment number 90.

    /news/world-europe-jersey-11710712

    you dont get many of them to the pound- boom boom.

  • Comment number 91.

    Hiya Russell :o)

    Sorry I've not been on lately, I hope you've missed me like I've missed you.

    OMG, saw this and well knew it'd be something you'd love:

    How utterly crazy is that ay! Mind you, it's every lady's dream, ahhhh. Not mine though, you're my dream :o)

    Can't wait for the next show.

    Luff youuuuuuuu!!

    Laura & Adeel xxxx

  • Comment number 92.

    another wonderful idea

  • Comment number 93.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 94.




    A Polish pop singer is courting controversy by attempting to branch out in politics with help from a sizzling poster showing her stretched out on a beach wearing just a skimpy bikini.
    **Now she's not the only one standing for the election!


    A woman buying fruit and vegetablesat a shop in the UK's Channel Islands was overcharged - because the shop assistant's breasts were resting on the scales.
    **It was part of a 'two for one offer'.





    About 30,000 Dutch households are to receive marijuana scratch cards to help them tell if their neighbours are growing drugs.
    **They are also handing out cards which smell of chocolate cookies to sniff afterwards incase they get the munchies




    A game show contestant became an online sensation by correctly guessing the phrase 'I've got a good feeling about this' with just one letter revealed.
    Armed with only an 'L' as a clue, Caitlin Burke, a 26-year-old fashion journalist from New Jersey, solved the puzzle in one go on the Wheel of Fortune show.
    **The show's producers are suspicious so the next phrase she had to guess was, "You have the right to remain silent.... "


  • Comment number 95.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 96.

    Hi russ I came across this on youtube thought you would like it. woman farts on the news on youtube

  • Comment number 97.

    Hey Russell, I'm sending you a clip from an interview in Americas Lincoln Park, Huntsville, starring Antoine Dodson. This clip has over 18, 000, 000 viewers and is so popular that a song has come of it:

    with an even more impressive 39, 400, 000 views on Youtube alone.

    Also, the creators of this video are the makers of Double Rainbow, latest meme to storm the web: 15, 000, 000 views :3

    Thanks ^^

  • Comment number 98.

    You should do a piece about this very worthy charity, making life a little bit nicer for disadvantaged children at Christmas.
    Infact everyone reading this comment should have a quick look.

  • Comment number 99.

    back on sunday i went to the biggest and the best banger meeting of the year firecracker 19 at arena essex. i film in to three parts and i want you to look at the photos and crashes

  • Comment number 100.

    just a funny video i thought you might like Russell :)



    ---------------

    When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

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