Pub bore Archie talks to anyone who'll let him. He'll find out about their job or interests, and will then proceed to tell tall stories about his involvement in the same thing.
His various careers over the last 30 years - man and boy - include lorry driving, boxing, playing chess and ballet.
'The old preaching game? All the kneeling and praying? Hardest game in the world. Done it meself, you see.'