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FACTS |
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Name: Morris Telford
Age: 33
DOB: 18/04/70
Occupation:Unemployed
Hobbies: Enlightenment, Philosophy, Bingo
Favourite
book – Ordinance Survey Map of Shropshire 1999 edition
Favourite
foods – Pickled Eggs
Favourite
band – *(shameless plug)
Favourite film – Late For Dinner
Biggest
inspiration –
Worst
moment –18th June 1986
Best
Moment – 17th July 1995
Height
– Variable
Weight
– Variable
The
´óÏó´«Ã½ is not responsible for the content of external websites.
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And he's been attracting a fair amount of fan mail since we
started publishing his thoughts on the ´óÏó´«Ã½ Shropshire website.
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We're
publishing your thoughts on Morris and his travels on this page.
So
if you have any comments to make on our man or his observations
on the world, then send us a message and we'll post it here.
Messages
are posted
Monday - Friday
0900-1700
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New
messages appear at the top.
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I'll
not reply to the posting regarding "Geordie folk "
except to say better pasties than 'fishes on dishes' better
cider than ale described as 'brown', and I'm sure you've never
actually consumed clotted cream due to the impoverishment up
north, I'd imagine the shops merely have it in stock for visiting
people from down south to buy.
Mr
'E' seems to be delusional as he has the name of a cartoon
character, is
this some misplaced irony on the whole 'toon' theme?
Anyway....back
to Morris, has he got lost?
I
do hope he has not gone 'native', maybe he has found Nirvana
in the
Mid-West and settled down with a farmers/preachers daughter?
Morris
where are you? Are you ok? Shall I post you a pasty?
I
do hope we hear more soon.
I'm
sure even Mr -E is concerned about Morris.
Mike
Batt
West of Moreton Say
PS
the ´óÏó´«Ã½ deny paying you due to the 'special' way they are
funded...is
this true or a conspiracy of denial?
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Mr
Batt
What exactly is wrong with having people from Newcastle "down
there"? Ìý
You southern shandy drinkers should be glad to have Geordie
folk there, just as Morris has set out to right the wrongs of
the world, we'reÌýtrying to save you lot from the evils of sheep,
strange pasties, clotted cream and weakÌýcider.Ìý
We're also going to teach you all how to stop being soft sod's
every time a single snowflake falls, we were all outÌýwearing
just jeans andÌýT-shirts in the "Toon" during the last blizzards
while you lot were shivering, complaining and wishing you could
hibernate. Ìý Ìý
From - Wile-E (Blyth) |
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Dear
Morris.
Pleased
you escaped with your shoes from 'the car with flags'. I got
moved
on by a State Trooper once but managed to avoid kidnap. I'd
get out of the
'south' if I were you move onto the mid-west, much nicer folk
all round. I
think the Southeners are beyond redemption, even by a Messiah
like yourself.
I'd
rather not tell you about Trucks with red lights only to say
that as a
parting gift the wide eyed truck driver presented me with
a 'Rambo' knife.
He said he was amazed I did not have a a gun or a knife of
my own and
offered it to me for my protection. I was more scared of the
knife than
anything.
I
wondered wether you could do something for me.
We
have too many visitors from Newcastle down here, what would
be your
advice to put them off?
Mike
Batt (not the Wombling one)
West of Moreton Say
PS
My tip for you this week is to head to Las Vegas, I think
everyone there
needs saving.
PPS
The ´óÏó´«Ã½ are not paying you are they?
Ed:
Are we paying Morris? Well, due to the unique way in which
the ´óÏó´«Ã½ is funded: No.
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I
am sorry Morris for doubting you and thinking you were a work
of fiction! Hope the quest goes well and that you save the world.
Ìý
Stay Safe. Ìý
Paul McAvoy (Author) |
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I'm
glad Morris took my tip to hitch to heart.
One tip is do not get a lift with a trucker with a red light
in the cab....led to an unfortunate incident for me.
Ìý
Glad Morris is taking National Security seriously, the Yanks
are very hot on that, hence the Tie-Rack incident.
Best
not to order Milk Shakes either as they may think you have
Arab 'connections'.
Ìý
I'm sure the American people will take him to their generous
bosom with time.
Ìý
PS Cornwall can be a bit like the 'south', although the portions
are smaller, bingo is legal and I'd imagine there may be aÌýlack
of cream teas and pasties.
Ìý
PPS Wombles; as much as I appreciate the compliment I did
not write the Wombles, that was a distant relative, fortunately
I am not on the 'ginger' side of the Batt's. It is cheerful
music, 'Wombling Free' probably describes your travels perfectly,
without the 'making use of the things that we find' element.
Mike
BattÌý
West of Moreton Say
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Ode
to Mr T
From
Moreton Say he wanders afar
by plane, by truck but first by car
forging a path of love and hope
into the hearts of humble folk.
Stabbing
and prison worry him not
for tickets to Celine Dion he has got
when and where will his odyssey end?
will it be before he goes round the bend?
His
only flame lives next door
now she warms to Toby's amore
Oh won't you come back for all to see
and save Ironbridge from IGMT?
M
(via Tibberton)
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Dear
Morris,
I
hope that your journeys turn out well in the U.S. My uncle
Bing and auntie Sheila live in Frederick,MA. If you fancy
some real Shropshire cooking pop into uncle Bing's diner and
tell them that Joe sent you.
I've
told them about your travels and they promise you a free meal.Take
care.
Regards
Joe
Summerfield
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I
would like to express just how much I enjoyed reading the weblog
of 'Morris Telford'.
In the 7 minutes that it took me to read it, all my anxieties
and pains have been replaced by a warm, gooey feeling that starts
in my lower abdomen, and reaches right up to my larynx.
Thank-you, ´óÏó´«Ã½ Shropshire, for giving this visionary a voice.
Darrell |
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I'm
glad to see Morris took my advice and is spreading the message
abroad to our American cousins, although I do fear for him
if he starts his 'naked protest' in Alabama. Ìý
I would recommend hitching in America as the best way to meet
an interesting cross section of people. But
do not hitch in New York state as it is illegal. Ìý
Good
Luck Morris, may I suggest you invest in a money belt after
your incident/accident in Birmingham.
Ìý Ìý
Mike
BattÌý
West of Moreton Say
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Dear
Morris, Ìý
Is
there any chance you could return to Shropshire and stop IGMT
building all over Ironbridge? Ìý
Best
wishes on your journey, Ìý Ìý
James
the Shropshire Lad
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Wasn't
Morris Telford a car in the sixties made of wood?
I
seem to remember this being a running gag, when he worked
with me ordering paperclips.
As
I did the ordering of instant tea, coffee & soup for the machine
(why I bothered as they all tasted like something which wasn't
quite unlike tea), we were great rivals.
I
look forward to a new challenge when Toby starts.
Your
ex-colleague Morris Traveller
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Is
this real or fantasy?
I
am apt to believe it is made up, but I must admit I really
love this. I have read it all twice and am looking forward
to future instalments.
The
man (or woman) behind it is obviously very well equipped in
the art of making up a great idea and turning it into something
that is tangible and very entertaining.
Paul McAvoy (Author)
Paul's
Morris
says : I am stunned that you imply that my weblog is fabricated.
I have given up everything to follow a dream and my road ahead
needs to be paved with the flagstones of hope and freedom,
not the uneven gravel of doubt and fantasy.
The truth is stranger than fiction, unless of course you read
a lot of science fiction and fantasy novels.
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We
were very surprised to see our Uncle Morris on the web, at
least now we know where he is.
Isn't
about time you travelled our way for a visit, it's been so
long since we've seen you we hardly recognizedÌýthat handsome
mugshot.
Love you lots
Leanne & Cheyenne
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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It's
so refreshing to see the world we all take for granted through
the eyes of someone totally new to it!
This
guy is a young lad from a small village who sets out to make
his fortune in the world - the kind of story folk and faerie
tales are made of!
I
hope he succeeds. He is right that the world would be a better
place if we took an interest in each other. We just never
seem to have the time.
Fiona Barnes
Gobowen,
Oswestry,
Shropshire
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Go
to say, I love the Morris Telford section. A worthy successor
to Douglas Adams. Hope you keep up more of this.
Stewart Knight
Nuneaton |
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My
name is Tim and I am from Lancashire. Morris Telford is my
hero!!!!!
If
you are Jesus I want to be your disciple. If you are Batman
I want to be your Robin.
I work in an office ordering paper clips. I know exactly how
you feel.
Tim
Heywood
Thornton,
Lancashire
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I
thought I must write in and say how much I enjoyed Morris
Telford's 'weblog'.
He
says he needs a plan.
I
would suggest that he travels abroad to spread his message.
And
of course continues to report on his 'adventures' for us!
Excellent site!
Yours sincerely
Mike Batt
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Morris
Telford is a wise character who you can relate to in the real
world. Keep up the good work Morris.
Tom
Blackpool |
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The
"Morris Telford" weblog is the work of a raving lunatic...
but sheer brilliance!
Wile-E
Blyth
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Just
read the Morris Telford weblog on ´óÏó´«Ã½i Shropshire web site.
Loved it !
Waiting
for further details of Morris & his Journey to put the wrong
things right.
I
have a feeling he is about to become a Hero of our time.
"Above
& beyond, Morris.Those paperclips are far behind you my friend."
;o)
Victoria
Felton
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