大象传媒

A Canadian here who really appreciate your 大象传媒4 programing. This morning 11:30 am EST the topic was about programing and how it could be improved. One mention was that sometimes you have too much on USA subjects and not enough of European, British Commonwealth topics etc. I don't know what you are doing right but we sure enjoy it. The CBC radio Canada used to be much the same as 大象传媒4 back when we had the am channels and lah de dah programming was on the fm station. I am a meat and potato man and stuck to the CBC am channel. Now, in a cost saving attempt, they have joined both onto the FM station only which means I have to put up with the classical music etc. This was the reason why I appreciate your 大象传媒4 radio online. I spend 6 to 10 hours a day on the computer and while everything i do I listen to your 大象传媒4. 大象传媒4 has the most wonderful programing about 30% better than the NPR in the USA. Thank you for all your work. A grateful Canadian FrostyJack

Have you seen the story about the UK and US hospitals doing research into claims of 'Out of Body Experiences' by placing images on top of high cupboards, where the image could only be seen from the ceiling. This is being done in emergency rooms where patients are taken with heart attacks and of course, if patients can recall these images, there is some 'scientific' evidence that out of body experiences might be real. Here's one link:



Now surely there must be some classic comical phrases or images to put up there?

I can't get the video to load! :( is it anywhere else to watch? it keeps saying that it's out of date and no longer avaliable to watch. :'(

A strange story about a pensioner pleading guilty to having sex with a horse and a donkey:



Most brilliant part about this story? When requesting that his client be given bail, the guy's lawyer admitted 'The Defendant does not have a stable address'. Perhaps the horses no longer like to share with him!

Question- When's your next DVD coming out?

xxxxx

What type of parents would hire this as a 'present' for their kids?!
The basic idea is:
-Parents hire evil clown for seven days.
-The evil clown then stalks the child for seven days (apparently it's OK as the clown won't break into houses!)
-The clown at one point will smash a birthday cake into the child's face.



I think the only thing that can sum this up is, Odd. Very Odd.

Hey Rus! Totally loving the series so far!

This has got to be a Goodnews story for you. about an autistic basketball player (Jason McElwain)



If it dosen't make your show, Then I hope it just makes your day!

Ed!

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"A herd of pigs that escaped on to a motorway in Essex after the lorry carrying them crashed have been rounded up and taken to an abattoir.

Both carriageways were closed for about 10 hours while 78 pigs were rounded up."

I got stuck in this traffic for 4 and a half hours!!! Was quite amusing seeing pigs running down a motorway though...

An Australian man built up so much static electricity in his clothes that as he walked he burned carpets, melted plastic and sparked a mass evacuation. As he walked into the building, the carpet ignited from the 40,000 volts of static electricity that had built up.

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I would like you to consider our charity to get a mention in your good news section of the show.
The charity is Richards wish set up in memory of my 17 yr old brother who died of cancer in 2008
we now raise money for cancer patients over Devon. We will buy anything they want while on treatment.
Thank you for your time I hope you consider us
Rachel

Www.richardswish.org

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That last one isn't funny at all, but y'know--"BeeNP threatened by newcomers, gonna take all our jobs," etc.

This was something to do with dogs... not quite sure what, but the reaction is genious!

This is how to get people interested in politics. Hilariously and through the magic of autotune.

best show yet the one wiv the leprachauns funny as i keep rewindin it watchin it over n over agen i think im goin mad!

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Hey, Rus. I saw this online and I thought, OMG russell could make this funny! so here it is..hope you can fit it into next weeks show.




Aquarium bosses are playing the sounds of Barry White and Marvyn Gaye underwater to try and put a shark in the mood for love.

Zorro, a six-year-old zebra shark, had worn out his former tank mates at Sea Life Belgium. Hoping he would find new love, he was shipped to the Sea Life London Aquarium on Valentine's Day.

Paul Hale, curator at the aquarium hoped he would hook up with a single shark called Mazawabee, but so far their relationship has been strictly platonic.

To re-ignite Zorro's mojo, marine experts are trying to seduce the sharks with seductive music, such as Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On.

"Zorro has something of a reputation as a "ladies shark" and as Mazawabee has been 'single' for a number of years now, we really thought they would get together very quickly," says Paul Hale.

"But it's been months since their first introduction and although there are certainly signs that Zorro has been making advances, we would really have expected some serious mating by now."

"Research suggests that fish can not only hear music but can appreciate different tunes and melodies so we have decided to see if some good old fashioned love songs will get them in the mood!"

Now I can't find the video :-( but on Newsnight last night (wednesday, 14th April 2010) I noticed that one of the politicians from Wales (I'm only guessing because it said 大象传媒 Wales in the background) sounded robotic and or like one of those smokers who has to have a little voice box thing so they talk. Anyway, back to the point, Robotic politician find some jokes (you should be able to I'm sure)

Good News !!!!! I found the program on bbc iplayer so here's the link: /iplayer/episode/b00s1scg/Newsnight_14_04_2010/

There's a women called Amanda Flowers,24-years-old, who has now got a sex addiction syndrome called "Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome" she got this by falling off the Nintendo Wii balance board and damaged a nerve in her body and she say's that she gets turned on by any vibration imagine her excitement when she gets a text message, and is also by washing machines. She said "With no cure I just have to try to control my passion by breathing deeply. Hopefully one day I鈥檒l find a superstud who can satisfy me" Imagine the boyfriends reaction when he gets told this.

Well that's the news that i found strange hope it gets into your show because if i can think of a million jokes abou this then you could find a billion.

Paragraph 5, the quote is 'the uk's worst airspace restriction in living memory'. living memory? the oldest of us will be in our nineties, and im pretty sure they wont have any recollection of any such thing, since the first passenger plane took off in 1936...
Love the show :)

Did you see the debate discussions on 大象传媒1 tonight (10pm on 15th April)?! There was a really simple looking guy sat behind the woman who was talking with his mouth open the whole time. I didn't hear a word she said because I was too distracted by this guy....he almost looked a bit like Russell. There was also the hippy with bright red socks and a very fuzzy beard!! I couldn't help but think of this program!

Bit late but still brilliant.

have you recently heard that children at the age of five have to learn about sex education and me being a teacher teaching about it that all the boys got boners

please put my comment on ur sic programme
=)

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I would like to say how great it is that you always end on a high note - so refreshing - I am definitely going to send something on postpals - thank you for being a lovely guy and spreading a bit of happiness!

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This video would be awesome if you were to show it :D



Thank you.

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Mr Howard One you may find this entertaining , Two there was a rope swing that i didn't whant to go on as at the peack of its swing it was 20 foot up however I gave in to peer pressure more to shut them up than anything else and at the peek of the swing the stick broke and i fell on to my face. if you put this on this on your brilliant show feel free to embellish and pook fun, Oh and how could you not recognise Alain Robert, he is a legend and you forgot to arsk for his autograph did you release he is an epileptic and risks his life at every climb.

Barack Obama says it should be possible to send astronauts to orbit the planet Mars by the mid-2030s and return them safely to Earth

Hey Russ,

I absolutely loved the show tonight, me and my sister were sitting their wetting ourselves. Thanks for that Half an hour of non-stop-giggling.

I feel like submitting a story that made me giggle;
It is a story about an aquarium in London where they are trying to make Sharks 'get busy' by playing them Marvin Gaye and Barry white.
The shark was transferred to the London Aquarium on Valentines Day but ever since then he hasn't been with the other Female sharks.
Here is the Full Story

oh sorry this is late but i agree Jeremy Clarkson should be elected for PM or at least the transport minister

probaly the weirdest story ever



cuffbert

American School calls off a cross dressing show:

police arrest two women at a British airport after trying to smuggle a corpse onto a flight.

Why can't all schools be like this : )

a danish hotel is offering guest a free meal if they cycle for at least 15 minutes

Me and my entire family laughed so hard at the audience in this clip 13 minutes in there is one very noticable chap they are all very funny people but one really stands out for his shocked stare which lasts for about 4 minutes

MUST WATCH

/iplayer/episode/b00s1nch/大象传媒_News_at_Ten_15_04_2010/

Gamestation Owns Your Soul



Gamestation added an "immortal soul cluase" to their online purchashes. They added to the terms and conditions section that the customer was willfully handing over their soul to gamestation when buying products from them. They apparently acquired 7,500 souls in an attempt to prove that online customers rarely read the terms and conditions when buying items online. The customers would of been given a 拢5 gift voucher if they had ticked an opt out box.

A Group On Facebook : A Snail Is Just A Slug With A Turban On :)

An elderly man who planted a hoax bomb in a revenge plot against a dentist he felt overcharged him, has been told only his age has kept him out of jail.

hey, this is the kind of thing you guys would like.

check this video out of a family in america singing beyonces single ladies



people loved it so much it got on cbs's morning show



it even ends with a nice message about adoption~

Two women tried to smuggle a dead relative on to a plane at Liverpool John Lennon Airport. The corpse was pushed in on a wheelchair 鈥� complete with sunglasses 鈥� to try to fool staff at the check in desk at JLA.
The ECHO newspaper for Liverpool understands the 91-year-old German national had died a day earlier, and an attempt was being made to smuggle his body back to his homeland.

A source said: 鈥淭he airport staff at the check in were not happy with the situation.鈥�

This isn't really a story but the video is absolutely hilarious. I've never seen a cat do this.

Russell, these made me laugh!!


For those who don't like their mother-in-law...



Postman problems - cat attacks!!



Escaped convicts disguised as sheep - lol



Gotta love the internet

Niki x

Heya, I love the show, keeps getting funnier and funnier. I was wondering if you wanted to use any snips from these clips?


I automaticly thought of the show when I saw these, keep it up guys. want an autograph LOL! x

You might be interested in this guy running for Parliament as a pirate after losing a bet: and

He runs the UK part of International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
He was elected as Student's Union President for the University of York after running as a joke candidate:

He's got some other wacky stuff on his personal website:
and you can follow him on twitter:

dunno if you've had this before or if its too old news but still :)

this is the perfect thing for the next show, i could not stop laughing when i saw it.

Dear Russell,

you have a funny eye. I don't know if anyone has told you but I don't think you should be kept in the dark any more.

p.s. how come Mr Blobby hangs out with Noel Edmund when he should be at home with Mrs Blobby.

Another great show russell!Btw iv seen this story in the news a month

back and it nearly made me cry and im a grown man. Its about an

autistic child who reached his dreams plz just give it a watch!:

I love the show, it never fails to make me laugh. I have a few funny stories I found that might be good for the show.

This one is about a woman who became a nymphomaniac after falling off her Wii Balance Board. Although it is the Daily Star so whether its true or not I have no idea.



This one is a hilarious April Fools joke Gamestation made :)



Last one is a pretty bad story from Russia, a 14 year old boy killed his Father for taking away his keyboard

Damn I forgot one. This one gives a real good impression of young people and how they abuse alcohol, makes us all look bad =/

Apple Ipad proves popular with pets -
The gadget has also also won a following among cats - perhaps surprisingly as it comes without a mouse. Pet owners wishing to pamper their animals with the ultimate toy when it becomes available in Britain next month will have to spend more than 拢700. There are currently 940 cat related applications available for the iPad. These include the popular "LOLcats app" which produces a random image of a cute cat with a witty caption and the controversial "Cat Annoy" which produces 8 different sounds each designed to tease your pet.

Have you seen this?! A three year old tattoo artist!

GENERAL ELECTION DEBATE

After watching the General Election debate last night, (Thursday 15th April 2010) I was amused to see the lost and vacant expression of the audience member directly behind the lady presenter in the aftermath discussions following the debate. (Sorry I can鈥檛 recall her name but it was when they were discussing 鈥榯he worm tool鈥� used for monitoring audience response.)

His face is priceless 鈥� he looks so worried.

I鈥檓 sure you鈥檒l be touching on the debate in your next show and feel this poor fellow could be the butt of a good few Russell Howard punch lines!

Thank you for your time, I hope you look into this if you weren鈥檛 already.

PS. Great show 鈥� you鈥檙e a Legend

Cheers,
David Cockcroft and Claire Sherriff

Hey Russell,
I absolutely love your show!
I saw these and thought they were fantastic.
On the theme of politics, here are more politician themed things.
First the crisps,
then the pigs,
now...dog chew toys from pets at home!
There's Gordon Clown:

Camerbike Dave:

There was also Tony Flare (but i can't find it on their website
Have a good week x

Boys at a school in America were told to dress as girls for "Women's History Month", but it got cancelled after numerous complaints. When you read the article there are a couple of amazing quotes such as ""If your child is a young man, he does not have to wear a dress or skirt, as there are many time periods where women wore jeans, pants and trouser". Haha!


And in the election programme, there was this really short old guy loving it! He was shown multiple times grinning away and nodding in agreement, at the end especially! Take a look!

Hi Russell,

Love the show and thought you might enjoy the latest madness to greet visitors to Peasedown St John in North East Somerset.

Hey Russell,

Just watched your latest show, brilliant! I loved the part about the dogs, with the sleep running dog! made me laugh so much :')

something I thought you may find funny, a cat with PMT? This video has to be the best interpretation of a cat fight ever!

hope you find it as funny as I do!

Heheheh, I found this funny story you might like. ;D

Hey... am either being a bit untechnical and blind or this isn't set up to well! I just watched the latest episode on iplayer and it said to come here to submit good news stories but there doesn't seem to be an obvious place to do so -so I doubt russell or anyone at the bbc will read my comment here, but here goes, here is a bit of my story...
people are always moaning about lazy students and their long holidays, but back in summer of 2008 I thought I'd put mine to good use and went out to Rwanda for 3 months. Whilst I was there I got involved with a local project helping street children, but it was so limited in what it could do as it had no funding. So the children I saw had no home, no schooling, food or access to medical care. I felt so overwhelmed, but I couldn't not do anything. So I started telling people here in england about the kids and people started giving what they could. Before I knew it we were renting a house. With the help of some awesome friends I managed to get us registered as a charity in the UK, and over the past 18 months we've helped send 50 children and young men to school, and permanently house 35 of them! Were called Ubaka U Rwanda (reg. charity no. 1126500) which in the local tongue means to build rwanda because as corny as it sounds children are the future. Check out our website: www.ubakaurwanda.org.uk

Hey Russell

im a big fan of your work and have just finished watching your latest episode, but the real reason behind this comment is to ask you if you would put this short video of Danny Macaskill on the show as he has inspired me and all of my friends to keep trying



i hope you find it as insane as i did :)

thanks
winstan96

like the way the news reporter's excuse

Police arrested a New Jersey man after he was accused of intentionally vomiting on a young girl

Don't know if it really counts as news, but its fairly amusing anyway in reference to South Park and its constant endeavours to call out people on social issues and uncomfortable truths. Basically, the latest episode ("200", aired on paramount comedy 14/04/2010) slyly mocks ginger folk, amongst other things. A ginger kid on youtube who has become a bit of an internet meme now has a video response, and basically its hilarious.



As I say though, not really news, but an amusing social statement.

THREE MEN IN GLASTONBURY PRAYING FOR KIDNEY STONES SO THEY CAN SANDBLAST THEMSELVES INTO OBLIVION!!

We love your shows and enjoy your humour so we thought you might like this story. Although I am unsure what category it might fall into.

I and my husband run a pub in Glastonbury, The Market House Inn. We are active members of the Pubwatch and local business community. There is a website called 鈥楤eer in the Evening鈥� which is supposed to be a place where people who like good beer and other pub-like products and entertainments can review pubs that they visit, which then enables other users to find a good watering hole when they visit new places in England.
However three individuals have subverted this site into a forum for disseminating poisonous comments about various pubs and making vitriolic attacks on staff, managers and pub owners. Their comments are grossly inaccurate and objectionable on many levels
Check out the comments of torsteve, hoonkerama, The_Final_Arbiter for The Market House Inn, Mitre, Crown/Backpackers, Beckets and others in Glastonbury

These men(?) do not have the balls to actually come in and have a face to face discussion and therefore do not provide the opportunity to refute their egregious claims.
So I decided to send them a message which is very direct. I have painted their screen names (alter egos) onto the trough of our men鈥檚 urinal. (It was very well scrubbed before I commenced my painting.)
And every time any man goes in I ask them to give their very best to
torsteve, hoonkerama & The_Final_Arbiter

it鈥檚 working well, last night one customer said that he no longer stands in one place to pee but walks slowly along the trough ensuring his 鈥榞ood wishes鈥� are evenly distributed!!
I suspect they (torsteve, hoonkerama & The_Final_Arbiter) will never have the nerve to come in and make a formal complaint hence the image of three men attempting to sandblast their way into oblivion.
I can provide photos of the urinal (without any pee鈥檈rs peeing) if you would like?

Thanks & kind regards

Sky news Channel last night (fri 16th) at 21:06 had an item on the 3 would be priministers debate which basically said Nick Clegg had come out on top. A pundit was then asked how Gordon Brown would respond and came out with a classic line that you could cut and use the first few words - it was something along the lines of:

"HE'S GOING TO EXPOSE HIMSELF...........to two further debates"

Eeeeuuuurgh imagine that - I dont think it's going to gain him too many votes !

An Australian publisher has had to pulp and reprint a cook-book after one recipe listed "salt and freshly ground black people" instead of black pepper.
Penguin Group Australia had to reprint 7,000 copies of Pasta Bible last week, the Sydney Morning Herald has reported.

Russell, you have got to get mileage out of the audience at the 大象传媒 leader's debate aftershow that was part of the ten o'clock news on Thursday. It was like a convention for the vulnerable. I have managed to find a clip on youtube entitled "Terrified man in 大象传媒 audience", check it out here If you can get access to the whole piece on VT I am sure I also saw someone dressed up as Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys during his weird phase, but the star of the show is the blonde/possibly ginger gentleman in the white shirt sitting behind and to the right of the presenter. Throughout the full piece, which is several minutes long, his look ranges from that of a rabbit startled in headlights right through to a potential serial killer. It was so funny at the time that me and my other half were literally crying as it unfolded.

Enjoy, it is one of the funniest things you will see in a long time.

Alasdair Murray
(aka @Alconcalcia on Twitter)

A family cat tried and almost succeeded to save rubbish from a wandering bear, I wonder how they could show this in the news...

The actual video is on youtube, go check it out at:

Four-year old finds Cannabis in second-hand Xbox 360 title

Me and my dad where driving to a rugby game on 17/04 and i turned on the radio and heard on Radio 4 'Man Jailed for having sex with a horse and a donkey'

Hi Russell, absolutely loving the show at the moment. Think i've got an idea you would really like, and that would make everyone laugh. A geat deal of people would have seen the youtube phenomenon "gap yah", a viral video about a toff on his gap year that's just absolutely hilarious! Now this would be a quite funny video to show anyway, but the other night whislt watching the Leaders debate it hit me... David Cameron is pretty much the guy from Gap Yah :P They have the same toff style of talking, similar ridiculous expressions, and they both love travelling (David's anecdotes about his time in Afghanistan, and about meeting a black man (really? No way! :P) I think if you showed the Gap Yah video, it would get loads of laughs, and if you did a compare and contrast with Cameron, it would be even better! You can do it Russell!

Oh, forgot to post the link to the Gap Yah video:

Courtesy the Independent, the National Stalking Hotline will only have one line and operator:



Which surely makes this individual the most easily stalked person in Britain, and the only one with no-one to turn to for help. I'm already up to nineteen calls a day.

A story I think shows the determination of both players and friends for a sport not too recongised in this country



Many fans only concern were finding coaches to get the team over and to ensure they could and none were fazzed by 26 hours of traveling.

how about talking about toyota's???

Hi Russell loving the show, I even blog about it. There is a hilarious facebook group that has appeared called 'Vandalised Conservative Billboards'
My favourite is the one saying 'Suck my Goldman Sachs.' Keep up the good work :D

Russell, back on the Gap Yah-David Cameron suggestion, I now have a David Cameron billboard like the one you guys always laugh about, but tailored to the joke. Im doing all your work for you! Here's the link!

Is it me or is the name of the beatle that's eating everyone's lawn away p*** wet funny:



all the gents reading this have to ask whether it's the lawn that we should be worried or is it some sort of hideous gental rot that's the bigger issue!!

:-)

Hi Russell
Love the show. Thought you might want to check out the balls up by the 大象传媒 presenter this morning fudging his lines about some analyst who had "cocked-tossed-totted up the cost the volcano was having on the airline industry." Nearly choked on my cornflakes!
Fraid I cant find it on you tube though.
Joe

How you seen the web series called "The Specials" about 5 mates with special needs who share a house in Brighton? It's fantastic and has just been nominated for 2 Webby Awards aka 'the Oscars of the Web' for Best Documentary Series and Best Reality. It's been made with no funding and edited in the producers spare bedroom. Check it out at

Jack Tweed 'unaware of friend' during alleged rape

Jack Tweed has told a jury trying him for rape he had no idea a friend was in the room watching, until he joined in having sex with the same woman.

and guess where it was "essex"

heres the link to the story

New election campaign for nick clegg to appeal to the northern people

New idea from the liberal democratic party to appeal to northerners NICK CLEGGY

Look a bloke i work with has recently had a baby adn his wife (who has 3 other kids) was found to have terminal bone cancer at 8 months pregnant :( all she wants is a house for her children but the council have refused her as she is un able to walk. it was in the local herald and i think she should be commended for her selflessness,,

BY THE WAY LOVE THE SHOW :)

x

by the way im from plymouth :D

Loving the show, I thought u could use this on the next one, maybe...

Donal Macintyre reports on ITV London Tonight (monday late night 18th) that "an explorer in antarctica was almost killed today by a MASIVE CRAP " errr I mean CRACK".


I found this very funny, must have been the chaps Kindle mint cake diet!

I cant find this vid posted on the net but someone here might know were to find it! I would like to see it again if someone does!

Many Thanks

hi russel
have you heard that the company marmite has taken legal action against the bnp for having a jar of marmite on there webpage
i think it is funny that not even companys of jared spread you put on toast dont wont to be associated with the bnp.

and
a man called Cemal Celikkanat threw away a 100,00 pound scratch card because he dint no the rules of the game.
he thought that the 100,000 had to be on a straight line 2 1000,00 were on top and 1 on the bottom line
he franticly searched for it and it wasnt found :( :(
looooool


the bnp has gaven u a list of item to buy and not to buy
this is the list
Ben & Jerry鈥檚
Bertolli
Bovril
Carte D鈥橭r
颁辞濒尘补苍鈥檚
Cornetto
Elmlea
Flora
HB 鈥� Ireland鈥檚 ice cream range
HB Ireland 鈥� kids range
贬别濒濒尘补苍苍鈥檚
I can鈥檛 believe it鈥檚 not Butter!
Lyons Tea
Magnum
Marmite
Peperami
PG tips
Pot Noodle
厂濒颈尘路贵补蝉迟
Solero
Stork
Viennetta
奥补濒濒鈥檚
奥补濒濒鈥檚 Kids鈥� Range
Cif
Comfort
Domestos
Persil
Surf
i think you can make this funny. i think it is hilarious

i hope that 1 of these can be feautered in your show.

Hello!

Have a look at this story...

it's about a bank robber in fancy dress!

Take care.

hello mr russell

Have you seen the story going on in Indonesia?

Police barred from penis enlargement!

I have found a source, they go on to say that "An applicant "will be asked whether or not his vital organ has been enlarged," said Papua police chief Bekto Suprapto, quoted on local website Kompas.com."

hahahahah!

The source can be found here :

29

be nice to have my name mentioned in the show :D

Cheers!

A 12 year old boy gets arrested for farting in class!

check out the news report:

Pope Condoms

The Foreign Office has apologised after a document suggested the Pope's visit to Britain should be marked by the launch of "Benedict" brand condoms.
should be able to come up with a few jokes about pope condoms like would they be called Benedick's condoms or something like that

A German Shepherd named Buddy saved his owner's home by guiding emergency services to the blazing building.

Crazy cat! Travelled 1,300 miles away from home then its owner couldn't afford to fly it home so a kind stranger did. Sweet story.