Facing Christmas after the death of a loved one
Whilst Will wants to put his children first this Christmas, he should try to be honest with them about how he is feeling.Cruse Bereavement Care
Christmas is a difficult time of year for anyone who has lost a loved one, particularly when it is the first Christmas after bereavement.
The festive period of 2018 is the first one that Will has had to face since his wife, Nic, . Not only does he have his own grief to contend with, but also the feelings of his children.
And over the years, others in Ambridge have been in similar situations to Will.
Elizabeth
For Elizabeth, Christmas reminds her of her husband's death because it happened during the festive period. On 2 January 2011, Nigel Pargetter was on the roof of Lower Loxley Hall trying to take down a Happy New Year banner with his brother-in-law David. He lost his footing which resulted in a fatal fall.
Since then, Elizabeth has been running Lower Loxley, the Grade II* listed Pargetter family seat, and its associated businesses while also raising her and Nigel’s twins, Lily and Freddie. She has risen to this challenge, though perhaps she has buried some of her grief to keep strong for her children?
Elizabeth opens up about being widowed (from 2012)
Elizabeth tells Iftikar she thinks she should be coping better with Nigel's death.
The Bridge Farm Archers
The tradition of decorating the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve at Bridge Farm has become an important moment in the family’s remembrance of John, Tony and Pat’s eldest child.
John was only 22 years old when he died in a tractor accident in February 1998 and his death has cast a long shadow over the family. "Everything at Bridge Farm goes back to the death of John", said Pat Gallimore who plays Pat Archer, "Tom trying to take on the role of the first son... a lot of the start of Helen's grief, causing her eating disorders."
The family’s tree decorations include items that have connections with John. There are three birds which Pat bought for John, Helen and Tom on each of their first Christmases, as well as a clay pig which John made the year he started school.
Oliver
Oliver must sympathise strongly with Will’s circumstances as he was in a very similar position just 12 months earlier. In the summer of 2017, Oliver’s beloved wife, Caroline, died from a stroke at their villa in Italy.
With no other family nearby, Caroline’s death left Oliver noticeably alone. But, after some persuading, the four-generation Grundy family scooped Oliver into their Christmas Day celebrations at Grange Farm where Oliver has previously lived with Caroline. It also means that Oliver was part of the Grundys' last Christmas with Nic.
In his second year as a widower, Oliver has found a way to keep himself busy with a job behind the bar at The Bull.
Oliver's first Christmas without Caroline (from 2017)
Oliver enjoys Christmas Day with the Grundys but Caroline is never far from his thoughts.
Will
Christmas 2018 is going to hardest of all for Will. As well as dealing with his own grief for Nic, he also wants to support his and Nic's 5-year-old daughter Poppy and his step-children Jake and Mia as they adjust to the loss of their mum. "I just want to make everything better for her [Poppy], but I can't can I? Nic's gone and I can't bring her back", said Will in a tender moment with his mum Clarrie.
Andy Langford from said, “Christmas can be a very difficult and emotional time for someone who is grieving the death of a loved one, so it is completely understandable that Will is struggling.
“Whilst Will wants to put his children first this Christmas, he should try to be honest with them about how he is feeling. Children and young people often try to emulate their parents emotions, so if Will isn’t open with his children, they might not feel able to show their emotions with him or the people around them.
“Will is lucky to have a supportive family around him and it’s important his family and friends continue to talk about Nic and let him know that they are there to listen when he wants to talk. Knowing he has that support around him will make a huge difference.”
