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The Philanthropy Test: Would Archers fans leave a 94-year-old man out in the cold?

A cruel blow was dealt when revealed that the Tuscan limestone flooring and inbuilt dishwasher at Keepers Cottage was destined for ex-urban professionals in highly remunerated positions and not "THE GRUNDY WOMAN".

But Archers fans wouldn't see the Grundys out in the cold.... would they?

In this psychological test, undertaken under strict laboratory conditions, we found out how deep Archers fans would dig... Frankly, not that deep.

Good news for Bartleby

And Joe... but only if he has all of his toenails removed [sounds like this one's inspired by Quentin Tarantino]

And Clarrie

Yes, I should love to share my kitchen with Clarrie. [Jean Bell on ]

And for Ed... who isn't even homeless

Yes, I would take Bartleby, and young Edward, anytime (although I know he has a home elsewhere). [Veera Vuorinen on ]

Bad news for the ferrets

No way, my cats would eat their bloody ferrets anyway lol [Julie Key on ]

And Eddie...

But in fairness, there were, in fact, numerous offers of help

Yes. Of course. Plus the ferrets. Plus Bartleby. [Philippa Vereker on ]
Plus the Cider, Philippa, don't forget the cider! [Angie Brown on ]

And if all else fails...

That should do it.